I’m just going to get straight to the point here and say it: I’ve struggled to write recently. It’s funny that nearly a year ago, I blogged about beating writer’s block. Perhaps I wrote that hoping I’d take my own advice. But here’s the thing, I have plenty to write about. A whole notes app worth of ideas to pull from, but little motivation to do it.

As an undergraduate student, writing was something that I did constantly. Studying English meant writing essays every week, and the whole world knowing I studied English meant editing essays every week (don’t worry, I love doing that). On top of all that was the work I did with Stethoscope Magazine, managing this website, and working on getting published (stay tuned!). Suffice to say, I wrote a lot. In a world of rapidly approaching deadlines, my foot was always on the gas. Against the direct advice of every professor I had, I wrote my essays close to their due dates and spent a long time making sure every sentence was as perfect as it could be. I can count on one hand the number of times I wrote multiple revisions of an essay while pursuing my English degree. Looking back, that wasn’t always the wisest decision, but it was hard to balance everything when there was an organic chemistry test always around the corner.

Everything slowed down considerably after graduation (only after medical school applications took their sweet time punching me in the gut, of course). No longer were there as many deadlines forcing me to write. Motivation was something that had to come entirely from within myself, and around these parts, motivation is a scarce commodity these days. I’ll give myself some credit: I made sure to latch onto the part of me that loves English by finding different ways to engage with it. I gave feedback on dozens of college and graduate school application essays, which was fulfilling. I’m also enrolled in Emory’s Creative Writing Certificate program, and being one of the youngest people in the program, I enjoy reading the work of individuals who are at such a different place in life than I am (whether that be age, career, or because it’s virtual, location). However, despite what I have been doing, it hasn’t felt like much considering I’m in a gap year during a pandemic. When I thought about writing a blog post (or sometimes even a story/poem despite being in a certificate program), I found myself saying, “Eh, I’ll just do it tomorrow when I’m in the mood.” Before I knew it, “tomorrow” turned into months.

All that to say, I think I’m back, and with me, I carry a valuable lesson that I’ve learned during this transition: creativity takes time. For a long while, I got so used to churning out content, that I lost the drive to do so when it was no longer required. I’ve had to learn to be more patient with the creative side of my mind and rediscover why I enjoy doing this. It certainly hasn’t been easy; I’ve felt imposter syndrome at times while struggling to do what has become such a large part of my identity. After speaking with different writers over the past several months, however, I’ve learned that this is all part of what it means to be creative. The most frequently reoccurring discussions I’ve had in the creative writing program have revolved around combating burnout and incorporating writing into our routines. Through those discussions, I’ve come to see writing as a marathon rather than a sprint. That change in perspective has shown me the importance of taking time to revise and rewrite my work. Some of the people I’ve spoken to have been sitting on ideas and manuscripts for years! I’ve also found that stepping away from my work allows me to revise with a clearer mind when I return to it. I know that these changes will make me a better writer, and I don’t think that I would’ve made them without stepping away for a bit. So to anyone struggling with their creative pursuits (not just writing!), be patient with yourself. You’ll regain your motivation too, and when you return, perhaps you’ll unload some insight that you had no idea you were even picking up.

See you soon,

Muhammad

SHARE: